Encouragement Teamwork and Awareness

What a weekend!  My guys and I enjoyed a wonderful family outing on Saturday.  You may be jealous when I tell you that it all began with a round of injections.  Ah yes, the family that gets flu shots together...  Well, hopefully we'll be the family that doesn't get sick this year.

My boys were very brave.  O was actually a bit frightened and has the typical needle phobia, but he got through it like a champ.  M hopped up in the chair with a smile on his face...  It crumpled slightly when the needle came out.  Absolutely no tears were shed this year.  After my little men were finished, I  went 3rd.  You'd never believe how terrified I used to be of needles if you had seen me relaxed and without hesitation.  My poor husband went last and was almost as unafraid as our sons.  What a bunch of troopers we were!

Running errands and working on a halloween costume for M took up the rest of our Saturday.  As we flipped between the NASCAR race and UofM vs M State game, I felt very content.  Activities of Autumn have a calming affect on me.

Sunday brought organized chaos in our home.  Resorting and cleaning of the boys' playroom took more time that I'd care to admit.  It did however leave us with fewer toys and more space.  Everyone in the family pitched in and many hands did make light work.  The boys agreed to put their toys away in their designated places from now on.  Laughing to myself here.  What an amazing job my boys did this weekend!

It's awesome how much can be accomplished when working together as a team.  Without the help of my 3 men (big & small), it would have taken countless hours to achieve today's goal.  Encouragement and a desired reward can also go a long way.  If you are faced with a challenge, put a little carrot out in front of yourself.  Marmaduke the movie, a treat, & root beer worked for our little guys.  My reward, besides a little less work on my own plate, was "Date Night" with my husband.  Laughter and smiles all around!

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Many of you already know how important domestic violence awareness is to me.  The month of October is not only Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but Domestic Violence Awareness Month as well.  If you know of anyone who needs help, please encourage and direct them to:

Common Ground Sanctuary

Toll Free

248.456.0909

800.231.1127

HAVEN

Toll Free

248.334.1274

877.922.1274

http://www.domesticviolence.org/

If you are in danger,call 911, your local hotline, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 

1-800-799-7233 and TTY 1-800-787-3224.

Trust me when I say that it's not always cut and dry.  Living with abuse takes a toll on the souls of the abused and those who witness it.  It's never as simple as walking away.  Have compassion and refrain from judging those who live with abuse.

"Safe Haven" by Nicholas Sparks (fiction) showcases a domestic abuse situation within the novel.  While every abuse victim's story is different, Nicholas Sparks was able to capture the guilt, strength, compassion, fear, and many other emotions abusers often go through.  I admired the fictional portrait that Mr. Sparks painted, but also how the reality of actual situations was woven into the canvas.  It's an amazing book to read and I encourage everyone to pick it up. 

Two Evil Words

My husband and I recently discussed those days when it seems as though nothing is ever going to be easy.  Over the past school year, we've had more than our fair share of them.  Our conversation touched on the feeling that each time we were back on our feet, something pushed us backward and knocked us down again.  We laughed, cried (during some of the moments, not the discussion), and marveled at how much people can endure.

How many of you know someone, friends or family members, who have been through some very big challenges in their lives?  I doubt that any of you are saying, "NOT ME!"  Was it was a battle with cancer, being unemployed, or some other obstacle that they (or you) had to overcome?   What would have happened if they had given up before they started?  How would things have been different if they used those two evil words, "I can't!"

Today as my sons struggled at their first swimming lesson, my youngest said those two evil words.  He was scared and didn't want to try.  His swim instructor, Mrs. M., didn't let him give up.  She pushed him to keep trying.  While my oldest was also a bit frightened, and panicked a couple of times, he was very excited to discover that he could do more than he first imagined. 

Afterwards, with my two boys wrapped in Transformer beach towels, I walked to the car and thought about the challenge placed before my sons.  This experience is more than just a swimming lesson.  For these two young children, they have to overcome their fears so that they may accomplish what they have set out to do.  If they don't find it in themselves to wade into the water, they won't have a chance at their goal.  My boys may not master the sport of swimming during two weeks of lessons, but they will have dipped their feet into the pool as beginners.

I'd be amazed to hear of a person who has gone through this life without feeling frightened.  Being afraid to fail can be disabling, but we don't have to let it be.  Can you imagine what life would be like if people didn't rise above their fears?

What is holding you back today?  Are you afraid of what might happen?  What might not happen?  What fears have you been able to overcome?  What was the result?

Courage is not the absence of fear, 

but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.  

~Ambrose Redmoon

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. 

~Robert F. Kennedy

What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

~Robert H. Schuller

Motivated By Competition

Competition can be a powerful motivator.  It's everywhere.  The ambitious drive of competition can be found in a goal that you set for yourself, team and individual sports, board games, the workplace, amongst siblings, education, and many other areas of life.  Although it can become a negative in some cases, I often find it to be a positive portion of my life.  When I set a goal, I find that the competitive part of me is compelled to complete it. 

Of course, competition can take a turn for the worst. How many little league or high school sports have we seen get out of hand, mostly due to aggressive and overly ambitious parents? What about professional athletes and ability enhancing drugs? Look at some of the super star celebrities that took their goals too far.  Even a weight loss goal can lead to eating or exercising disorders.  There has to be a balance to the competition in our lives. It's not worth hurting anyone over, including yourself.  Remember to play by the rules.

Often times, a wild card can be thrown into our game, or prize seeking intent.  My most recent wild card consisted of 2 sick children.  When I set my sights on a goal recently, I was knocked off balance by their illness.  Rather than working towards a shiny reward star sticker that I could place on my shirt, I was taking temperatures, giving meds, and trying to contain germs that were attempting to take over our home.  It was a setback, but not something that cannot be overcome.  We have to fall back and punt sometimes, but that doesn't mean we won't reach our goal in the end.

My sons have the competitive streak in their blood as well.  When we want something done, we find that it's easier to obtain our desired outcome if we give them a little incentive.  Let me give you a few examples. 

*When cleaning their room, they move a lot faster if we turn on some music and give them till the end of the last song to have their room clean. 

*Using a calendar print out for each of our sons, we challenge them to be on their best behavior.  A great day equals a sticker on the calendar, if they have too many issues during that day, they go without.  At the end of the month, each sticker is worth a quarter.  The quarters are then placed in three jars, for each boy, labeled Spend, Save, and Give.  At least 1 quarter must go in each, but they choose where the rest of their money goes.

*Our PTO runs a Reading Incentives program in the local elementary schools.  Last year, my oldest son brought home his record sheets and was driven to read until he achieved all of the prizes that were awarded through the program.  The final prize was a t-shirt that pronounced his love of reading.  My eager reader was happy when he was able to wear that shirt proudly, and Mommy was proud too!  As parents, we continued to reward our son for his reading time throughout the rest of the school year and into the Summer.  Our local library's Summer reading program once again brought out the need to read and succeed (in both our boys).

*Currently, a good school year equals a big reward in our home.  Last year, my son was in need of a bigger bike.  After a great year in the classroom, he was surprised with a new bike just his size.  Recently, my husband and I offered a highly desired prize to our oldest son.  If he has another fabulous year at school, he will receive a Nintendo DS system (with parental time limits of course).  As he has been in need (anyone who is a parent knows how children need things that we don't always agree with) of this item for a long time, I'm sure my son will strive to do his very best. 

As you can see, competition can be a useful tool, if you don't let it get the best of you.

NaNoWriMo has commenced for the month of November. It uses our passion for achieving an objective, to encourage our writing habits. National Novel Writing Month is a tool that sets our eyes on the goal of 50,000 written words (a 75 page novel) within the month. For writers who have the desire to compete with themselves, this is a challenge worth taking on, and a practice session for potential future deadlines.

Competition: motivator or destructive?  Do you have a competitive streak?  What are your current goals?  What wild cards have you encountered along the way?

Write What You Know

As I go through the brainstorming process, I keep coming back to one of my favorite authors & book series. You might have heard of it. The story is about this strong minded and imaginative red headed orphan girl named Anne, with an e of course. In L.M. Montgomery's heartwarming stories, she uses a character to express a writing tip. Basically, it's all about writing what you know. In the story, it prompts our beloved "Anne girl" to write about the people and places she knows. I believe the author herself did just that. It's easier to write when you feel it. Of course, it's easier to feel it when you "know" it. We use our experiences along with our imagination to create. It's a beautiful combination. So now I'm mentally reliving some of those not-so-wonderful moments in my life, along with the amazing ones, to enhance my brainstorming. Hopefully it will give me an assist on my own writing endeavors. What tips have you received? What are your tips?

Getting Brave

I've been perusing blogs today. While doing so, I came to one very important conclusion... I need to start being brave! I often get distracted by life's daily activities, and those things become my perfect excuses to put things off till tomorrow. Prime examples of this: "Well, the kids need me, so I'll pick up my pencil and write tomorrow." Then it's, "the laptop needs to be recharged." The excuses can easily pile up. While valid most times, they just aren't good enough anymore! Maybe deep down I'm just a big chicken! Am I just scared to write and somehow not measure up? --For anyone who knows me, no short jokes here please. -- I know I need to focus on my writing and NOT what anyone thinks about it. From this point on, my goal is to exercise my distracted brain and write on a daily basis. Even if it's just a few sentences on this blog! The only way I'm going to move forward is to throw out the excuses, not give up on myself, and not look backward! Today, I'm making that first step and getting brave! Maybe my next goal should be writing my blog description...