Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Wealth of Change

Photo taken in the White Mountains of NH
Within 9 months of 2012, I have seen a wealth of change.  I must admit, the year didn't start out on a high note for me.  I went through some difficult situations, was blindsided, felt discouraged, and got "knocked down" a number of times.  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad and I know it certainly could have been worse.  At some point I found myself being drawn closer to God.  Through the process I found a reason for the negative thrown in my direction... growth.  We all know I'm not talking about my height here.  I'm not saying I want to live through the hurts again and the list of those I trust is much shorter, but it brought me to where I am today.  There is peace in this knowledge.  The way I view things has altered slightly.  While there is more caution, I have more faith.  I'm aware that my days of learning are far from over.  When the next struggle comes along, I plan to deal with it to the best of my ability, using prayer & patience.  God has a plan for me.

During the summer, we experienced great blessings.  Visiting with friends and extended family on the east coast was one highlight.  Our hearts and family grew as we took part in the fabulous wedding of my father-in-law & P.  She is an amazing woman who enriches all of our lives tremendously.  We officially gained more additions to our lives with E, little J, B, A, and others as well.  Two families really did become one in July.

While this was a great event in our lives, there were more incredible moments as well.  I believe one of the most special happenings came to fruition in part because of motions that were set into place at the beginning of 2012.  God moved me.  He tweaked my heart through the strife.  I gained peace.  A desire to be baptized presented itself.  While I have been a Christian since the age of 12, there are reasons why I chose not to be baptized until this year.  I won't go into detail, but I will tell you that I wanted all the glory to be for God and nobody else.  On the evening of May 13, 2012 (Mother's Day), I read my written testimony in front of our church and was baptized by Pastor T.  It was an incredible day that I shared with my mom, older brother, husband, sons, & dear friends.

A spark began.  Times of hurt caused me to turn to God on a deeper level.  In turn, I altered my prayers to God regarding situations in my life that I could not fathom how to repair.  One of these prayers was simply... "God I don't know what to do, but You do, so I'm putting it in Your hands."  I meant it, continued this prayer, and gave it fully to God.  In mid-July, I was amazed to receive a message that I honestly never expected.  It took me some time to process, but I felt that God was answering my prayers.  Faith that He was in control encouraged me to proceed.  A bond that was broken four years before had begun to mend and continues to do so.  My younger brother, M4, is back in my life.  In fact, we attended his wedding to D in August and are now blessed with a new sister-in-law (an aunt to my sons).  I truly believe that God brought us to this place.  What joy fills my heart for this gift.

Sharing personal stories isn't always the most comfortable thing to do.  There is always concern that someone will become upset in the process.  For those of you who have read my blog postings before, you know I have shared difficult situations in the past.  You have been given an insight to my journey, read my light hearted stories, experienced some of my joys, and seen my crafty creative side.  My life is no better than anyone else's and I don't pretend to have all the answers, but if my story can give a little hope, inspiration, or help to someone else, then I feel it's important to share it.

Today, I am grateful.  <3  I give the glory to God!  I sing His praises!

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