The Saga of a Short Girl's Search for Jeans

My heart is in my stomach.  While my stomach has dropped to my knees.  Prep work, mostly consisting of online searches, has been completed.  Now it's time for the pep talk... if I can find any pep at all.  Mentally, I'm already convinced it'll become another epic fail in the search for a fabulous pair of jeans.  Sigh!  Here I go...

As I pull up to the first store on my list, I debate on even going in for another attempt at denim comfort.  Should I give up before I even begin today?  My eyes roam to the neighboring stores and linger at a nearby craft haven and even an office supply store.  I'd much rather be going in search of a cute little notebook.

Be prepared, I'm about to share a deep dark secret that many women would never speak of.  I HATE shopping for clothes!  Yes, you read that right.  Don't mistake clothes with boots however.  Boots I can mostly certainly count on for a smile and contented sigh.  As for pants of any kind, I give up!  Maybe it's the fact that it's so difficult for me to find a pair that doesn't accent my butt crack and post pregnancy stomach stretch marks.  I'm tiny, but I'm not a teenager!

How many people can simply point, click, and pay for an online clothing item without a thought that it might not fit?  Sure, there are some.  For me it's nearly impossible.  Especially when it comes to a good pair of pants.  Most extraordinary petite people can't walk into a store, pull jeans from a shelf, and have an instant favorite piece to their ensemble.  We must try it on.  It's the way our world works.  With this fact staring me in the face, I find it unbearably frustrating to find most stores choose to sell their "short" or "petite" items online only.  For those stores that actually do carry short and petite styles, please stop putting the smallest sizes on the top shelves!  Give this short girl a break!

Shelf after shelf, rack after rack, failure after failure.  I search through petite, women, and junior sections in a desperate hope of finding one brand's style of jeans that was made for little ole' me.  Snagging the solo pair found that seems like it may be a reasonable fit, I head to the dressing room.  Quickly trying the pair on, and even more rapidly deciding they are not mean to for me, I change back into my current favorite pair.  I look sadly at the comfortable denim that has begun the ventilation process and wish the brand continued to produce the same style and fit that I have worn out over the years.  Then I hold my head high, okay slightly drooping, and determine that today will yet again be another epic fail in the saga of this short girl's search for jeans.

Next stop (for another day- one can only take so much torture):  A petite store with potential... and a larger price tag than I'm used to.

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Keeping up is not my forte lately.  While the items on my to do list are piling up, I continue to have a hard time following & commenting on blogs.  Contact with my message board mom friends is sporadic at best.  I'm fearful it will only get worse as the holidays continue their approach.  Alas, I do my best.

Apologies to those I haven't been keeping up with.

Speak Now... Mean

Yesterday I neglected to post my blog.  *GASP*  In an effort to juggle an extra ball or 2, I simply forgot.  I promise to keep today's post short & sweet, to the best of my ability.  Just know that the tastiest morsel is not at the beginning, it's at the end.  


I think it's clear that my household is full of Taylor Swift fans.  My youngest son blushes when you mention her name, song, or any Taylor Swift related topic.  Is it any surprise that we rushed to get the Target exclusive version of her latest cd, Speak Now, on it's release day?  Of course it's not.    


One of the extra features from Target's special cd includes the music video "Mine,"  as well as behind the scenes and on the set of the shoot.  Beautiful picturesque Kennebunkport, Maine is the backdrop for this fabulous musical vision.  What's not to love about that?  Nothing.  Especially since we have family members who were actually working nearby while filming was taking place.  


Now, I should get to the short & sweet part of today's post rather than fill you up with endless facts about this amazing new album by Miss Swift.  However, I must add that it's full of FABULOUS music.  She never ceases to impress me with her lyrics and musical talents.


As I listened to Taylor's 6th musical selection, "Mean," I heard something more to the lyrics than she implies.  Imagine yourself as a child growing up in an abusive home and hearing the words of this song...

"Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me, and all you're ever gonna be is mean, why ya gotta be so mean...  I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold, but the cycle ends right now, cause you can't lead me down that road..."  

Now picture yourself as that same child now grown into an adult...  Can you feel the emotion and power in those words?  I most certainly can.  


If you hear me singing this song at the top of my lungs on various occasions and notice a little extra heart to it or see a little extra depth in my eyes, you'll know where my mind is.  Gratitude pours from my heart to know that I have a husband who loves and protects me.  As a father, he's incredible.  I've seen the flip side of the coin and I will tell you every day just how very lucky I am.  The chain can be broken.  That's why I choose to speak...  or as Taylor Swift's latest album says... speak now.

If you or someone you know needs help please take a moment to view this website:   

http://www.domesticviolence.org/

If you feel unsafe while viewing the site, you will find a quick exit on the upper right side by clicking on the words "leave this site quickly."  

Ain't Love Grand

How many husbands would mute a sports program so their wife can read without interruption?  Personally, I don't know many who would even stop to think about it.  Yet that's exactly what my husband did for me on Saturday as I finished reading (or should I say devouring) "The Preacher's Bride" by Jody Hedlund.  I paused to reflect on his sweet thoughtfulness and came back with one word "blessed."

My husband and I can't afford grand expensive gestures, but even if we could, I can't imagine any flashy gift that would mean more to me.  If I receive a gift from the man I love, I don't expect jewelry or bouquets of roses.  Often times when my husband is looking to surprise me, it'll be with a cd or book because he knows me well.  That alone is a special gift.  It's the simple acts of love that put a smile on my face and warm my heart.

I pray that my boys grow to be men like their father and that their future wives will appreciate the simple loving gestures as much as I do.   While I want a great many blessings for my children, this one is towards the top of the list....  True compassionate considerate and whole hearted love to be given and shared with one special person.

If the money is gone, when the wrinkles and gray hair have appeared, or when life hands you more lemons than you can hold...  what do you have?  Do you have love?  Real love?  A kind considerate heart by your side?  A faithful hand to hold?  If you do, count yourself blessed.  Are your heart, eyes, and mouth smiling because someone loves you and you love them back?  Tell them or show them today with a simple loving gesture.  Ain't love grand?

“A life without love is no life at all.”

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more; that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.”

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

Encouragement Teamwork and Awareness

What a weekend!  My guys and I enjoyed a wonderful family outing on Saturday.  You may be jealous when I tell you that it all began with a round of injections.  Ah yes, the family that gets flu shots together...  Well, hopefully we'll be the family that doesn't get sick this year.

My boys were very brave.  O was actually a bit frightened and has the typical needle phobia, but he got through it like a champ.  M hopped up in the chair with a smile on his face...  It crumpled slightly when the needle came out.  Absolutely no tears were shed this year.  After my little men were finished, I  went 3rd.  You'd never believe how terrified I used to be of needles if you had seen me relaxed and without hesitation.  My poor husband went last and was almost as unafraid as our sons.  What a bunch of troopers we were!

Running errands and working on a halloween costume for M took up the rest of our Saturday.  As we flipped between the NASCAR race and UofM vs M State game, I felt very content.  Activities of Autumn have a calming affect on me.

Sunday brought organized chaos in our home.  Resorting and cleaning of the boys' playroom took more time that I'd care to admit.  It did however leave us with fewer toys and more space.  Everyone in the family pitched in and many hands did make light work.  The boys agreed to put their toys away in their designated places from now on.  Laughing to myself here.  What an amazing job my boys did this weekend!

It's awesome how much can be accomplished when working together as a team.  Without the help of my 3 men (big & small), it would have taken countless hours to achieve today's goal.  Encouragement and a desired reward can also go a long way.  If you are faced with a challenge, put a little carrot out in front of yourself.  Marmaduke the movie, a treat, & root beer worked for our little guys.  My reward, besides a little less work on my own plate, was "Date Night" with my husband.  Laughter and smiles all around!

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Many of you already know how important domestic violence awareness is to me.  The month of October is not only Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but Domestic Violence Awareness Month as well.  If you know of anyone who needs help, please encourage and direct them to:

Common Ground Sanctuary

Toll Free

248.456.0909

800.231.1127

HAVEN

Toll Free

248.334.1274

877.922.1274

http://www.domesticviolence.org/

If you are in danger,call 911, your local hotline, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 

1-800-799-7233 and TTY 1-800-787-3224.

Trust me when I say that it's not always cut and dry.  Living with abuse takes a toll on the souls of the abused and those who witness it.  It's never as simple as walking away.  Have compassion and refrain from judging those who live with abuse.

"Safe Haven" by Nicholas Sparks (fiction) showcases a domestic abuse situation within the novel.  While every abuse victim's story is different, Nicholas Sparks was able to capture the guilt, strength, compassion, fear, and many other emotions abusers often go through.  I admired the fictional portrait that Mr. Sparks painted, but also how the reality of actual situations was woven into the canvas.  It's an amazing book to read and I encourage everyone to pick it up. 

Galatians And Good Deeds

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers."

Galatians 6:9-10

As a family, we have been looking for a church off and on for some time.  The question that has often come up in our search has been, "do we fit here?"  While attending one church sporadically, we felt disconnected to it.  Maybe it was because we didn't know anyone and it was so large that everyone seemed distant.  Either way, it wasn't the right fit for our family.

In August, we had a play date with a friend of my oldest son, O.  While the boys were playing, his Mom and I began talking.  When she mentioned her church family, I told her we were looking for a church and asked her a bit more about it.  She gave me the information and I thought it would be a great place to try.  

Since that day, we have only gone twice, yet we are already feeling more connected to this potential church home than we have at any other place so far.  People are friendly and inviting.  Yesterday, the boys enjoyed children's church and the sermon my husband and I heard was wonderful. While the entire message was inspiring, one of the verses mentioned in particular really stuck with me.  When I heard it, I grabbed a pen to write it down so I would not forget.  Today, I  wanted to share it with you.

Galatians 6: 9-10 (see above) speaks of not growing tired of doing good.  I've always enjoyed doing for others.  There is such joy in helping and giving.  When someone appreciates what you have done, it's much easier to continue on with your good deeds.  However, when someone takes advantage of or is truly ungrateful and unkind, it's easy to grow weary of selfless actions.  

Mistreating those that help you is beyond my comprehension.  Yet, it happens all the time.  A couple of years ago I learned how hurtful people can be, even though you've gone above and beyond for them.  It was a blow that I cannot fully express in words.  It took a while for me to "shake it off" and move forward.  My heart could have grown beyond weary of doing good things at that point and given up.  I'm so grateful that it didn't.

Overall, my life has been blessed because of the things I have been able to do for others.  Whether it's friends that I have made or the experiences I've had, it's summed up in one simple word... joy.  I thank God for giving me a heart of compassion & giving.

Do the right thing, because it's the right thing to do! 

(a phrase taught & learned at my sons' school)

 Doing good for others doesn't mean performing world changing actions.  Big or small, each good deed means something to someone... even if it's just you.   What can you do for those around you?  

What has God given you a heart for? 

*****

Ask A Bipolar The Interview

As promised, today’s blog features a special guest.  I’d like to introduce my good friend Marybeth, author of the fabulous blog Desperately Searching For My Inner Mary Poppins and co-founder of the new website, Ask A Bipolar. Without further ado, I present the interview.

Hello Marybeth!  You and I are friends and know each other, but will you please share a little about yourself with my readers?

I am a mother of three suffering from bipolar disorder while trying to raise a bipolar son. I LOVE to write, read, sing and run.  

Today we are are here to discuss your new website, Ask A Bipolar.  Can you share the definition of bipolar disorder for those who do not already know?

A mood disorder sometimes called manic-depressive illness or manic-depression that characteristically involves cycles of depression and elation or mania. Sometimes the mood switches from high to low and back again are dramatic and rapid, but more often they are gradual and slow, and intervals of normal mood may occur between the high (manic) and low (depressive) phases of the condition. The symptoms of both the depressive and manic cycles may be severe and often lead to impaired functioning 

You have a co-founder, Erika, for this website.  Can you tell us how you two came up with the idea to start Ask A Bipolar and why you both felt drawn to do so?

A friend of mine posted a blog about her son's rage. Erika commented on it with a detailed account of how it actually felt to rage. The response she got was amazing. Everyone was so excited to have someone who'd actually experienced this describe it in such detail that they felt like they could finally understand what was going on. It gave me an idea. Why not have an actual website where people could go to ask questions to someone who's been there and can answer it from a first person experience. I passed the idea past Erika and she was all about it! 

What can people expect from your website?

It's a place where people who are suffering from or know someone who is suffering from bipolar disorder can come and ask questions and get answers from someone who's been there, not just a professional. Sometimes we just need to hear those little words, "I get what you're going through." 

What are some challenges you have had to overcome due to your bipolar illness?  

Before I was diagnosed I had many financial troubles, a hard time maintaining relationships and large bouts of depression. It made for a very difficult road through young adulthood. Now it's just a matter of making it through the ups and downs without upsetting those around me, which I'd like to think I've become quite decent at. 

Your son is affected by a mood disorder as well.  Do you feel that your experiences have better equipped you to help him through his struggles?

Absolutely. It's so nice to understand what he's going through and be able to express this to my husband or just tell my son that, yeah, I've been there too. I can spot his moods easily and have a good idea what triggered them and why, thus it's easier for me to bring him out of them, or at the very least talk him through it. 

If someone is concerned that they, or a family member, might be suffering from Bipolar Disorder, what should their first steps be?  Who should they contact?

If someone is concerned that they might have Bipolar Disorder I highly recommend they seek professional help sooner than later. If you are concerned someone you know may be Bipolar I would do what you can to either get them to, or convince them to, go to a doctor as soon as possible. 

Thank you for being here today Marybeth!  

If you have any questions, or just want to check it out, please visit Marybeth’s website Ask A Bipolar!  


Happy Friday everyone & enjoy your weekend!!!

Emotional Draino

This past week, I decided to embrace my inner Smurfette.  A few electric blue streaks graced my hair after the encouragement of my husband, my boys, and my good friend & hairstylist, E.  We were certain my Mom would get a little shock, and possibly a chuckle, out of my bold statement, but she wasn't phased.

Sometimes we feel like taking actions that are not in our typical motions.  Whether it's a blue streak in our blonde hair, stepping out of a shy quiet mode and into the spotlight, writing an amazing novel,  starting a business, or doing just about anything that changes our lives.  Stepping out of that comfort zone and into an extraordinary experience is often a release.

Expression, defined in multiple ways, is gift.  No matter what form it takes, it is a blessing and a freedom that we possess.  Can you imagine how different our lives would be if we didn't seize the opportunity to physically or verbally proclaim who we are or how we feel inside?  We'd all be in desperate need of Emotional Draino.


Emotional Draino, for those days when your life is stuck and your troubles are beginning to overflow due to the emotional backup in the plumbing of your heart.

How do you express yourself?  Everyone has those bad days and needs a little stress relief.  What is your equivalent to Emotional Draino?  Is it exercise, a good cry, a good talk, a distracting book or movie, writing, music, or something completely different?  

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A crafty blog post coming soon!